Residual Scars
by TheAngelofFate
Summary: From every wound there is a scar, and every scar has a story to tell. Some are small and some are not. But it's the ones that last, the ones that hurt even when the wound heals and the danger ceased that are the more telling. And for Axel, his only scar he received in the Organization, runs deeper then most know, even to himself. (No Slash/yaoi content. All platonic friendship)
1. Chapter 1

Ohhh boy, it's been a long while since I wrote anything Kingdom Hearts related, huh? It think my last one and only one was back in September of 2k17? Way before KH3 came out where it was just me testing the waters at writing for a game series I loved so much, writing for a platonic friendship I loved so much. But with KH3 out and having finished it multiple times I decided to give writing for this franchise another go.

Anyway I wrote this because I live for Axel angst. And a recent confirmed post from Nomura in the KH Ultimania make me think of this personal headcanon.

* * *

It was simply a normal day, a calm day within the world of Twilight Town when it happened.

Lea alone with Xion and Roxas were just coming out of the Clocktower after finishing their ice cream and saying goodbye to Isa who had to leave early he had to go back to Radiant Garden to ask Ienzo a question regarding the girl he and Lea knew before their world was consumed by darkness. The kiddos were all walking ahead of him, chatting about something Lea couldn't really hear but smiled nonetheless appeared on his face when suddenly he stiffened, ceased up to the point where he could no longer move his limps, like he was paralyzed.

But as quickly as it had come it was gone as just fast. Lea blinked, confused as to what in the heck that was as he stared at his hands and arms.

"Axel?" Two voices called out to him, making him tear his eyes away from examining his body, he could see Xion and Roxas, as well as Hayner, Pence and Olette who had stopped and were now all staring at him.

"Are you okay?" Xion asked, and Lea could detect the concern in her voice.

Lea smiles his best and waved his hand as he took a single step forward, "Yeah I'm okay—" His eyes widened when his body once again ceased up within seconds as a white hot jolt of pain shot through his entire body. He could hardly contain the scream that escaped his lips.

_God_, it was utter agony. The pain just kept on getting worse and worse, without any intention of stopping. It all seemed to enter through his back and out his chest almost as if someone had just stabbed him. Everything around him faded then, his vision blurred and then to his horror, his breathe left him, as the pressure just continued to increase, Lea realized with sickening realization that he couldn't breathe.

_He couldn't breathe_

Reality, then seemed to fold into itself because suddenly Lea wasn't standing in Twilight Town anymore. No instead, the area around him was white and when he managed to look up he saw Kairi standing within a cell, within a dungeon.

He found himself speaking, only his mouth wasn't moving, _"Kairi, are you hurt?"_

Her reply was a simple,_ "No, I'm fine"_

He breathed a sigh of relief that didn't come from his mouth, _"Thank good—"_

And it happened again that white hot burning, that feeling of being stabbed. Only this time he felt someone behind him.

What the actual hell?

Turning around to see who attacked him. His eyes widened when he saw Isa— No Saïx staying behind him, his Claymore sticking right out of his chest.

Isa...

No— _Saïx_ was looking at Lea... at _Axel_ with murderous intent, with a bone chilling grin on his face.

Right, he remembered now.

This was when...

The very moment when he started to fade away, when he started to die but held on because he so desperately wanted to right his wrongs, to fix his mistakes with his own two hands.

But he failed, he failed because he died before he could.

And now it was happening again...

"—el!"

No, he didn't want to fade away, this time! If he faded he'd be all alone again.

All alone, just himself

_Please!_

"Wa—"

_Please..._

Suddenly, something slammed into him, his eyes opened and he bolted upward, finally able to inhale a breathe, and then promptly choking on it. His body went into spasms as he coughed, clinching at his chest, the wound from Saïx's Claymore still burned, stung with past remnets of betrayal.

And when the mist cleared and he regained more of his senses back, he noticed that someone was speaking to him. Lea blinked hard, feeling tears cascading down his cheeks, his lungs still gasped for air as he tried to focus.

"Axel!"

He knew those voices...

_Roxas and Xion_

His closest friends, his hopeless kiddos. His very reason for even living.

They sounded so worried, was it about him? No, it couldn't be, not after the way he treated them.

The lies and secrets

They couldn't be—

"_Axel_!" But there it was, the concern in their voices. Blinking once more, the haze cleared just enough to see their face.

And—

Oh

The sight made his heart ache

They weren't just concerned, they were scared. Immediately, Lea opened his mouth to try to give them some sort of reassurance but all the left his mouth was a choked noise as the pain of the Claymore suddenly jolted through his chest once more and he let out a cry of anguish, wrapping his arms around his chest, he doubled over and did something he hadn't done in years.

He wept, he cried out until he couldn't breathe, sobbed until his throat was raw. These were different then the ones he shed with Roxas and Xion, those were happy tears mixed with apologies.

These were tears of pain.

_God, did it hurt._

He must have verbally voiced this because a few seconds later he felt two pairs of hands lift him, —the movement only making him cringe from the pain all the more— and two two hands clinched around his own, right over his chest.

Looking up, there they were yet again, right in front of him, still by his side.

These two hopeless kids, _his_ two naive, little munchkins.

They, like him, had tears rolling down their faces, "A-Axel..." Their voices meddled together as they stuttered out his name.

The wind picked up and he felt the sensation of darkness rushing past him. Curious, wondering just who was using a dark corridor to get here so quickly, Lea looked up.

And his heart nearly ceased beating in his chest.

Standing there, was Isa.

No—

Standing there, was _Saïx_.

"What happened?" He watched as Saïx came towards him, towards Xion and Roxas.

Out of fear bolt up, Axel bolted to his feet, despite the pain it caused him. Out of fear he summoned his chakrams— or his keyblade, yes _Flame Liberator_— into his hand as he tried his best to ignore the pain in his chest and the pain in his head as his childhood friend kept morphing from Isa to Saïx.

"S-Stay away." He ordered, pointing his keyblade at Saïx while his legs trembled, barely keeping him upright as he stood in front of Roxas and Xion. Lea couldn't save Isa but he wasn't going to lose them again, wasn't going to be alone again.

The action made Saïx pause for a moment, confused. "What are—?"

"I'm warning you, _Saïx_! Back off!"

The Lunar Dividers eyes widened at that and whatever plan he had at taking a step forward stopped right then. Then his face softened, something he never had seen before on Saïx's face before.

"Lea." Saïx said, his voice actually held emotion, as he held his hands up in surrender. "Lea, it's alright."

But no, it wasn't okay. Nothing would ever be okay again. Didn't any of them see that?

Then Saïx gave him a soft, sad smile. "I thought you told me that you didn't need the marks under your eyes?" Saïx reached forward —when had he moved that far— and flicked Lea on the forehead. It wasn't enough to hurt but not nearly as bad as the pain in his chest continued to feel. "Or did you say that because you were annoyed with me?"

Lea blinked hard for what felt like the hundredth time and the image of Saïx vanished and those yellow eyes were now their turquoise blue yet again. A lump formed in his throat, making it ache just as much as the rest of him did. "I-Isa?"

Isa once again gave him a sad smile, "Hey Lea."

His adrenaline vanished, along with his keyblade within seconds and he all but collapsed to his knees again.

"Axel!"

"Lea!"

He looked to see Isa in front of him, Roxas and Xion to his left and right all kneeling before him, Isa's hand under Lea's elbow, attempting to steady him.

"It hurts..."

Isa's expression morphed into one of sympathy.

"Lea, _breathe_. Like how I showed you when we were kids, remember?" Isa instructed, placing his hands on Lea's shoulders.

But he couldn't, his lungs hurt too much, his chest, every single part of him. Black spots formed into his eyes, nausea formed in the back of his throat, and he felt himself falling forward, going limp, as his body couldn't go on anymore with the stress it was being put through. He felt himself falling through darkness and for the first time, he actually welcomed it.

* * *

Alright, for those who don't know, in Nomura's recent published Kingdom Hearts Ultimania, he stated that when a Nobody is killed with whatever devastating attack, that upon awakening their human suffers the damage. Basically, they feel the pain of whatever killed them when they had been Nobodies. And (now bare with me) for those who actually read the Manga for KH2, there is a moment there where Axel has a little run into with Saix when trying to rescue Kairi. Now I know the manga isn't canon to the games, but my brain got a thinkin', like what if? What if Axel's big bang attack hadn't been the thing that ended him? What if it had been Saix?

This story is a continuation of that expanding idea that I'm currently running with.

Anyway, comments and feedback are always appreciated if any of you have the time, it would make my day.


	2. Chapter 2

Ohhh boy, it's been a long while since I wrote anything Kingdom Hearts related, huh? It think my last one and only one was back in September of 2k17? Way before KH3 came out where it was just me testing the waters at writing for a game series I loved so much, writing for a platonic friendship I loved so much. But with KH3 out and having finished it multiple times I decided to give writing for this franchise another go.

Anyway I wrote this because I live for Axel angst. And a recent confirmed post from Nomura in the KH Ultimania make me think of this personal headcanon.

* * *

It was simply a normal day, a calm day within the world of Twilight Town when it happened.

Lea along with Xion and Roxas were just coming out of the Clocktower after finishing their ice cream and saying goodbye to Isa who had to leave early he had to go back to Radiant Garden to ask Ienzo a question regarding the girl he and Lea knew before their world was consumed by darkness. The kiddos were all walking ahead of him, chatting about something Lea couldn't really hear but smiled nonetheless appeared on his face when suddenly he stiffened, ceased up to the point where he could no longer move his limps, like he was paralyzed.

But as quickly as it had come it was gone as just fast. Lea blinked, confused as to what in the heck that was as he stared at his hands and arms.

"Axel?" Two voices called out to him, making him tear his eyes away from examining his body, he could see Xion and Roxas, as well as Hayner, Pence and Olette who had stopped and were now all staring at him.

"Are you okay?" Xion asked, and Lea could detect the concern in her voice.

Lea smiles his best and waved his hand as he took a single step forward, "Yeah I'm okay—" His eyes widened when his body once again ceased up within seconds as a white hot jolt of pain shot through his entire body. He could hardly contain the scream that escaped his lips.

_God_, it was utter agony. The pain just kept on getting worse and worse, without any intention of stopping. It all seemed to enter through his back and out his chest almost as if someone had just stabbed him. Everything around him faded then, his vision blurred and then to his horror, his breathe left him, as the pressure just continued to increase, Lea realized with sickening realization that he couldn't breathe.

_He couldn't breathe_

Reality, then seemed to fold into itself because suddenly Lea wasn't standing in Twilight Town anymore. No instead, the area around him was white and when he managed to look up he saw Kairi standing within a cell, within a dungeon.

He found himself speaking, only his mouth wasn't moving, _"Kairi, are you hurt?"_

Her reply was a simple,_ "No, I'm fine"_

He breathed a sigh of relief that didn't come from his mouth, _"Thank good—"_

And it happened again that white hot burning, that feeling of being stabbed. Only this time he felt someone behind him.

What the actual hell?

Turning around to see who attacked him. His eyes widened when he saw Isa— No Saïx staying behind him, his Claymore sticking right out of his chest.

Isa...

No— _Saïx_ was looking at Lea... at _Axel_ with murderous intent, with a bone chilling grin on his face.

Right, he remembered now.

This was when...

The very moment when he started to fade away, when he started to die but held on because he so desperately wanted to right his wrongs, to fix his mistakes with his own two hands.

But he failed, he failed because he died before he could.

And now it was happening again...

"—el!"

No, he didn't want to fade away, this time! If he faded he'd be all alone again.

All alone, just himself

_Please!_

"Wa—"

_Please..._

Suddenly, something slammed into him, his eyes opened and he bolted upward, finally able to inhale a breathe, and then promptly choking on it. His body went into spasms as he coughed, clinching at his chest, the wound from Saïx's Claymore still burned, stung with past remnets of betrayal.

And when the mist cleared and he regained more of his senses back, he noticed that someone was speaking to him. Lea blinked hard, feeling tears cascading down his cheeks, his lungs still gasped for air as he tried to focus.

"Axel!"

He knew those voices...

_Roxas and Xion_

His closest friends, his hopeless kiddos. His very reason for even living.

They sounded so worried, was it about him? No, it couldn't be, not after the way he treated them.

The lies and secrets

They couldn't be—

"_Axel_!" But there it was, the concern in their voices. Blinking once more, the haze cleared just enough to see their face.

And—

Oh

The sight made his heart ache

They weren't just concerned, they were scared. Immediately, Lea opened his mouth to try to give them some sort of reassurance but all the left his mouth was a choked noise as the pain of the Claymore suddenly jolted through his chest once more and he let out a cry of anguish, wrapping his arms around his chest, he doubled over and did something he hadn't done in years.

He wept, he cried out until he couldn't breathe, sobbed until his throat was raw. These were different then the ones he shed with Roxas and Xion, those were happy tears mixed with apologies.

These were tears of pain.

_God, did it hurt._

He must have verbally voiced this because a few seconds later he felt two pairs of hands lift him, —the movement only making him cringe from the pain all the more— and two two hands clinched around his own, right over his chest.

Looking up, there they were yet again, right in front of him, still by his side.

These two hopeless kids, _his_ two naive, little munchkins.

They, like him, had tears rolling down their faces, "A-Axel..." Their voices meddled together as they stuttered out his name.

The wind picked up and he felt the sensation of darkness rushing past him. Curious, wondering just who was using a dark corridor to get here so quickly, Lea looked up.

And his heart nearly ceased beating in his chest.

Standing there, was Isa.

No—

Standing there, was _Saïx_.

"What happened?" He watched as Saïx came towards him, towards Xion and Roxas.

Out of fear bolt up, Axel bolted to his feet, despite the pain it caused him. Out of fear he summoned his chakrams— or his keyblade, yes _Flame Liberator_— into his hand as he tried his best to ignore the pain in his chest and the pain in his head as his childhood friend kept morphing from Isa to Saïx.

"S-Stay away." He ordered, pointing his keyblade at Saïx while his legs trembled, barely keeping him upright as he stood in front of Roxas and Xion. Lea couldn't save Isa but he wasn't going to lose them again, wasn't going to be alone again.

The action made Saïx pause for a moment, confused. "What are—?"

"I'm warning you, _Saïx_! Back off!"

The Lunar Dividers eyes widened at that and whatever plan he had at taking a step forward stopped right then. Then his face softened, something he never had seen before on Saïx's face before.

"Lea." Saïx said, his voice actually held emotion, as he held his hands up in surrender. "Lea, it's alright."

But no, it wasn't okay. Nothing would ever be okay again. Didn't any of them see that?

Then Saïx gave him a soft, sad smile. "I thought you told me that you didn't need the marks under your eyes?" Saïx reached forward —when had he moved that far— and flicked Lea on the forehead. It wasn't enough to hurt but not nearly as bad as the pain in his chest continued to feel. "Or did you say that because you were annoyed with me?"

Lea blinked hard for what felt like the hundredth time and the image of Saïx vanished and those yellow eyes were now their turquoise blue yet again. A lump formed in his throat, making it ache just as much as the rest of him did. "I-Isa?"

Isa once again gave him a sad smile, "Hey Lea."

His adrenaline vanished, along with his keyblade within seconds and he all but collapsed to his knees again.

"Axel!"

"Lea!"

He looked to see Isa in front of him, Roxas and Xion to his left and right all kneeling before him, Isa's hand under Lea's elbow, attempting to steady him.

"It hurts..."

Isa's expression morphed into one of sympathy.

"Lea, _breathe_. Like how I showed you when we were kids, remember?" Isa instructed, placing his hands on Lea's shoulders.

But he couldn't, his lungs hurt too much, his chest, every single part of him. Black spots formed into his eyes, nausea formed in the back of his throat, and he felt himself falling forward, going limp, as his body couldn't go on anymore with the stress it was being put through. He felt himself falling through darkness and for the first time, he actually welcomed it.

* * *

Alright, for those who don't know, in Nomura's recent published Kingdom Hearts Ultimania, he stated that when a Nobody is killed with whatever devastating attack, that upon awakening their human suffers the damage. Basically, they feel the pain of whatever killed them when they had been Nobodies. And (now bare with me) for those who actually read the Manga for KH2, there is a moment there where Axel has a little run into with Saix when trying to rescue Kairi. Now I know the manga isn't canon to the games, but my brain got a thinkin', like what if? What if Axel's big bang attack hadn't been the thing that ended him? What if it had been Saix?

This story is a continuation of that expanding idea that I'm currently running with.

Anyway, comments and feedback are always appreciated if any of you have the time, it would make my day.


End file.
